Hello worldwideweb,
It's one of those odd sleepless nights. I have been laying in bed since 22:00PM, tired and overwelmed.
Well, not clearly overwelmed.. But I had a revelation today. Well for a long time actually.
I have been thinking lately - alot actually - and I came to the sudden realization that I am not fitted to love or to be loved or whatsoever.
I know, it might sound silly.. But it's true.
If you look back at my history of "Love", I've been through so much that my heart can't even bare it any longer. I came to a point of being tired to love or to even invest time in a male-figure.
I am just tired of going through the same mishaps that have been happening for almost my entire life. It's as if I can not leave the cycle of this rollercoaster I'm in. It's really frustrating!
Perhaps it's because of me.. I have changed throughout the years and I honestly wouldn't know rather it's positive or negative. I've grown mentally but emotionally I am still scared of many things and it really bothers me.
It's as if my brains are living their own life by simply letting me second guess everything, everyone or just anything.. Ugh.
I just hope I'll get out of this stupid cycle.
